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How To Find A Master

Assuming you have already done all the preliminary soul-searching, experimentation an perhaps some training, you finally decide you want to seek a “24/7” (that’s 24 hours a day, 7 days a week) slave position.
You are really serious about this. It isn’t just a temporary fantasy. You are ready to make the commitment. You have the experience, the desire. You know just why and what you want out of a life of servitude. You have the attitude. What is missing? The Master.

 Sprucing Up The Property
Dating and jobseeking workshops both agree: Sell yourself! How much more true are these words for a slave putting himself on the market.
This goes beyond a little gym time and a fresh hair crop. One of the very first screening questions I ask is, “What is the primary duty of the slave?”
Correct answer: To protect the property of the Master.
It is your first duty to look after the property (you) for either your current or potential master. To maintain it and improve it to the extent you are able. How can you serve if you are not at full capacity? How do you expect a busy Master to want to take possession of property that you yourself do not respect or value? So, what does the property need? A couple of night courses? A little additional self-esteem? The removal of some excess baggage? Before putting the property on the market, enhance the value with a little “home improvement.”

The Species
As a general profile, a master has had to have some time to work through coming out as gay, coming out in leather and gaining the experience necessary to direct the lives and libidos of other men.
Considering there is, in most communities a “missing generation” of sorts, this means most seasoned masters will be in their late 40s and older.
The exceptions: There are those rare men who shortcut all of that and become masters of some repute by their early 20’s. There are also slaves who would rather have an inexperienced master to break him in right.
How did you think masters got trained? Other masters?

Their Natural Habitat
Where do the masters hang out? What are their habits? Where do they graze and hunt?
Logically speaking, a 25-year-old slave seeking a 45-year-old master will find that their interests, habits and stomping grounds may be a bit different from his peers. You may have to do a little research.
What qualities do you value in a master? Intellectual? Physical? Make a difference whether you start looking in a gym or a SM literature group.

Some sweeping generalizations:
There are some of us dinosaurs who still put in time at leather bars. Urban areas offer the environment and opportunities that breed accomplished masters.
There are gatherings such as International Mr. Leather (IML) and Drummer contests. International Masters and Slaves would be a logical choice. Involvement in a local club or leather group may not find you an owner immediately, but might just introduce you to someone who might introduce you to likely candidates.

Classified Ads
Ahh, the power of print.
Classified ads in popular magazines are still bringing master, daddies and tops together with slaves, boys and bottoms. The ads that get attention are descriptive, creative and sexy.

Internet
One thing that has leveled the playing field, particularly for players in isolated or rural areas has been the internet. Chat rooms, discussion lists, internet personals and cruising web pages can introduce master to slave without the inconvenience of leaving your apartment.
Unless this is to be merely a cyber relationship, it remains fairly theoretical until that all important first meeting. Like classified ads and those familiar warnings about meeting men in bars, the facelessness of the internet requires that you carefully check out the object of your cyber affection. Is he known in his community? Do his former slaves speak well of him? Be smart, be careful.

Don’t. Just Don’t.
In seeking a master, there are some things you just do not want to do. Among them, do not:
 

  • Act like a pushy bottom.
    You can be a pushy bottom. As a matter of fact, lots of tops like a boy who knows what he wants and can make that known. Just don’t act like a pushy bottom. Learn the art of convincing the top that what you want was his idea all along.
     
  • Worry about offending him by checking a few facts.
    Any worthwhile potential master expects that a slave will confirm he is who he says he is. It shows you are serious. The full credit and DMV check might be a bit much, though.
     
  • Become a piece of furniture.
    No matter how well upholstered, you can’t just spend all night quietly decorating the bar, expecting the perfect sir to come up and drag you back to his cave by your hair. You might actually have to take an active role and politely introduce yourself. In case you'll become his piece of furniture once you are 'owned', that's another story.....
     
  • Expect to custom order.
    Finding a master is not like buying a new car: You pretty much have to buy off the lot. Other than the standard leather exterior, your choice of color, year and accessories may not be available. Limiting your search to the master you saw in the Tom of Finland drawing might preclude some of masterdom’s best talent. Try to expand your tastes.
     
  • Assume that your definition of slavery is universal or eternal.
    Even once you have hammered out a mutual definition, don’t assume that it will stay the same. It will not start out identical, and it will evolve from there. Keep talking. Keep comparing notes.
     
  • Be too rigid.
    Learning to be a good slave is very similar to learning how to surf: Don’t lock your knees, stay flexible, keep adjusting to changing conditions. Try to avoid ending up with your head buried in the sand and the board up your ass. If you wipe out, paddle out and try it again.
    Don’t get locked into “Well, a master doesn’t do THAT!” or “That’s not what a slave is supposed to do!” Stay tuned to what might be an imaginative, new variation on an old theme. And basically - you wanted a master, so be prepared to experience some things you might not enjoy at all times.
     
  • Wear a locked collar around your neck.
    We’ve all seen this one. The guy that wears his own collar, hoping to find the right man to give the key to. Roughly the equivalent of keeping a wedding/engagement set at the ready in your pocket and a wedding dress in the car.
     
  • Say that you “have no limits”.
    This will annoy and exasperate a top because it’s just a silly thing to say. Of course you have limits. If nothing else, the limits of how long you can exist without air. Know your borders and express them in a way that is not whiney and keeps the top where you want him: interested and on top.
     
  • Expect too much.
    Underneath it all, this is a relationship between two human beings. Some of the dynamics will be the same as any other domestic arrangement, but also don’t...
     
  • Expect too little. 
    The intensity of a Dominant/submissive relationship can unleash demons and angels other arrangements may not. Be prepared for revelations, not only about your Master as time goes on, but about yourself as well.




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